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Belief

My self-esteem is shot, not that I had much of it to begin with.
I have never, ever, doubted myself before, and right now, I’m wondering if all that belief in myself was a fantasy I’d made up, or am I really that dumb.
I’ve noticed myself becoming more and more indifferent towards things in the past few years, and if continues to go the way it has been, the only entity I’ll be left as is a pathetic, sarcastic, cynical being, existing just because. Or not even that.
It seems as though the only people who get the grades are guaranteed a future, a nice, happy journey, while the rest are left to live a slow, unfulfilling, miserable life. Your whole life is counted by the marks you get, and nothing else. Doesn’t matter how you got said marks, or if your personality is rotten, and the only thing you know how to do is rote learning, but still you’ll get the best of everything, because by general standards, you got more marks.
More Marks = Smarter People, who deserve everything in this world. 
Or maybe it’s just in this overpopulated country.
This has been, hands down, the worst day of my life.

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